Calming Down

Officer Potter’s pistol with trigger safety highlighted, and her taser

As you probably know, Kim Potter, a police officer in Minnesota with twenty six years of experience, fatally shot Daunte Wright, a young black man. Everyone looks at the case differently, assuming the guilt or innocence of the participants. I appear to be troubled by an element that has not been raised. One human being was killed by another. There has been a lot of talk about Racism and Training and The Role of the Police, but the simplest of facts has been dismissed.

If you had not noticed, I am White (Caucasian), although I am somewhat the chameleon. I have been identified as Black on line (and in person as well, difficult to explain), as well as other races. I have been identified as a member of just about every religion out there; the truth is I am a Christian, raised to question. I identify as Zen Baptist when asked.

The general consensus is that I am not qualified to speak about this issue. My black friends say it’s because I am White, my White friends say it’s because I am a “lefty.” I am still a human being, so yes, I have an opinion. One of US was killed.

When I first heard Kim Potter’s defense of “mistook pistol for taser” I did not believe it at all. The defense has been used a couple of times in the past few years, I am not aware it has ever been successful. After I saw the video, I changed my mind. She genuinely thought she was holding a taser, warning other officers to stay clear. When she pulled the trigger, she shouted “Taser taser taser” in accordance with her training. It was not until she attempted to holster her “taser” that she realized she had been holding a firearm the entire time. Her surprise and shock appeared genuine.

I cannot explain how this happened by accident. Having used both devices, I am aware of how different they feel in the hand, as well as how different they sound when the trigger is pulled. Looking down the sights of each is a similar view, you don’t see the bright yellow sides of the taser, but the locations they are holstered on the body are radically different from each other, you don’t draw a taser with your right hand.

First issue: Why is lethal force the default response? Shouldn’t the taser be the device on the right hip?

The only conceivable defense is panic. No one wants to admit an officer with twenty six years on the force can panic, but other than an “I killed him because he was Black” plea not much more is believable. What about Daunte Wright threatened officer Potter? The conclusion reached after accepting panic is that police officers have an ingrained fear of Black men. Why else would they only panic when confronted by Black men? You can argue the numbers any way you wish, but when twelve percent of the population are the target twenty four percent of the time, Black men are targets twice as often as demographics suggest they would be.

Second issue: Why are police afraid of Black men?

This is going to be difficult to address in the real world. Fear is universally considered a trait of weakness, and being a police officer is built on strength. In order to repair this issue it needs to be acknowledged by men who are afraid to admit fear. They see any weakness as an admission of failure. They never admit failure.

I don’t know how to work with that, and judging from the results no one else does either. I know that in my life I have feared imminent death, but not on a daily basis all my adult life. Yet here we are, two groups of humans fearing the other is out to kill them.

Third issue: Can we move from mutual fear to mutual respect?

Fear is by its very nature irrational. Working with fear towards a rational decision may appear to be impossible until you look at yourself. Didn’t you used to be afraid of something? How did you make peace? I realize many of you may never make peace with some of your fears, but we all have something we are no longer afraid of. It can be done. It must be done.

That whole “you have nothing to say because you’re white” thing is so similar to “you have nothing to say because you’re black” that I copied and pasted it changing a single word. Tensions are high, we’re dealing with human beings who are afraid to interact with others because they fear for their lives. This is a horrible place and time to be alive for all of us. Calming down is the answer, telling others to calm down is not. The only way to change others is to change yourself first, lead by example.

Fourth issue: Why can’t we all just get along?

I have refused to believe that this question has been ignored just because it was asked by Rodney King almost thirty years ago. Now I’m not so sure. There is plenty of evil out there, it is easy to believe dark forces and conspiracies divide us. There is also plenty of good. Life is in balance, when viewed from far enough away. But we’re right on top of it. Everything feels personal.

It is personal, we just don’t realize how personal. We are all human beings. We may have different features, but this isn’t about white people, or black people, or police officers. This is about human beings. One of us was killed. When we can respond to these issues in unity as human beings the solutions will be obvious.

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Faces in the crowd

Good morning, today is my birthday. I’m spending the weekend relaxing in the mountains, so on Friday evening I was talking with a friend and not watching any news. I woke to the aftermath of the Paris attacks.

As of now one hundred and twenty nine people are listed as dead, with another ninety nine of the three hundred fifty two wounded in “very serious condition.”

One hundred and twenty nine families will have an empty seat at the table. Lovers will lay down in empty beds, children will live their lives without a parent, parents will bury their children. One hundred twenty nine times over, for now, this time. The day before, forty three died and two hundred thirty nine were wounded in a suicide bomb attack in Beirut, one hundred forty seven were killed and seventy nine wounded in an attack on Garissa University in Kenya. Brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, and friends lost forever.

Every face in the crowd is loved by someone, the eyes which once lit up when that face entered the room are now filled with tears.

On Saturday morning, my circles of friends checked to see if they were intact. Most were. Not all. I haven’t heard from Beirut yet, Baba had a way of knowing where his next restaurant should be blown up.

Luis Felipe Zschoche

Luis Felipe was in Paris to complete an album with his band Captain Americano. He decided to catch the Eagles of Death Metal concert at Bataclan with his girlfriend. They are now faces in the crowd.

It is not a good day to be a Muslim.

I knew a woman who grew up in Germany during the second world war. She was a child, she did not know any Jews, she lived on a farm and knew there was a war going on. She had no idea about the holocaust taking place. Years later, in America, she was just another German, a NAZI, a Jew killer in the eyes of anyone who heard her heavy accent.

In America during the war we “interned” people of Japanese descent, American citizens were sent to what were essentially prisoner of war camps inside America.

As a society, I do not believe we have matured much since then. After the 11 September attacks anti-Muslim prejudices were so out of hand that Sikhs, who have nothing in common with Islam but happen to wear turbans (unlike actual Arabs or Muslims) were the target of hate crimes.

I do not expect people to be able to differentiate between peaceful Muslims and ISIS terrorists when they cannot tell a Sikh from a Muslim.

It is time to make some tough decisions, and in order to make intelligent decisions you must be armed with facts. Hear that well extremist friends. Be more intelligent than your adversary.

We are indeed at war, our my opponent is hate. So look deep inside yourself, which side are you on? It does not matter if you are Muslim or Christian; if your motivation to action is hate, you are on the same side, and you are not on my side of this battle.

My God tells me to love everyone. I return to Matthew 5:43-45; “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.“

If you choose to feed hate, it grows just like any other organism. One friend stated it quite well; “Let us not get polarized and divisive. Extremist organizations thrive and recruit from divisive societies. Let us not cast blame on an entire community because of the actions of a minority. People killing people are not fueled by differences of race or religion. Those are just the excuse for a deeper seeded evil fueled by extremism. So let’s not provide the soil on which those seeds of extremism can thrive and flourish.”

Do not mistake my intentions. The individuals who are responsible for the destruction of lives and families should be hunted down and eliminated like the cancer they are. Feeding that cancer by attacking innocents is counterproductive.

My time here on Earth nears its end, but my time with God has only begun. I will NOT spend eternity reconciling hate, that task is to be completed here. Besides, I hear they have a pretty good band in heaven, they just got another guitarist.

Life Lessons

Someone said to me at work the other day “you’re a pretty smart guy,” to which I gave my usual response “Well yes, I am.” I am not conceited about my intelligence, so I softened the response with “In measurements of IQ I’m a genius, in measurements of relationships I’m stupid.”

Kurt Vonnegut said “You learn about life by the accidents you have, over and over again.” You learn when you realize they are not accidents. The choices I have made are not poor choices, they are my choices. This is just what I do, these are situations I am apparently comfortable with, and when they turn out the way they usually do I have no one to blame other than myself, because I am a pretty smart guy. I not only  see the mistakes in retrospect, I can see them on the road ahead and run towards them.

I can’t really call them mistakes when I am fully aware that I’ll do the same again.

I had dinner with a friend last night, and one of the nicer things about the evening was finding I’m not the only one who consciously embraces hopeless causes. We see the flaws in our desires, yet we chase them anyway. Another, perhaps more pragmatic woman simply slapped me on the head (a couple of times) a few weeks ago. While I greatly appreciate her opinion, I simply am not the kind of person who seeks revenge when events don’t work out as I wish, I may ignore the flaws in a situation, but I am not unaware of them. I do not become a better person by replicating the behavior of people who have hurt me.

We all work from our life experiences, my results have been mixed but the most important lesson I have learned is to be true to myself. Each of us must determine what “the right thing” is for us, I was once of the opinion that giving money to street people was wrong, it only enabled them to stay where they are, and they would probably spend the money on booze. Later I realized that giving is not about what the receiver will do with the gift, it is a measure of the giver. There is a Biblical verse about this, but I cannot recall the precise location of the verse.

It has taken a long time to find peace, and it often runs off and hides in the fog. Having found it I know it exists, I will find it again, and I know it is hardest to find when I surrender myself to depression. The easiest way to remain positive is to do the right thing, no matter how much that thing may seem to be contrary to my best interests. My best interest is being a good person, living in a state of grace, the right thing is never contrary to those goals.

 

 

Peace on Earth begins with peace in your heart.

 

Blessings

The fifth chapter of Matthew begins with “The Blessings”, or “Beatitudes”.

“And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:

² And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

³ Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

⁴ Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

⁵ Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

⁶ Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

⁷ Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

¹⁰ Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

¹¹ Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

¹² Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”

 

We are blessed as we develop our relationship with God. It is not easy, and as I often say “If it was easy everyone would do it”. The path is available to everyone, and in these scriptures Jesus offers the reassurance of his understanding. He does not say “Follow me and all will be well”, but rather “You will be persecuted and hated, it has always been that way, at the end of the journey is peace.”

I know enough about trends and statistics to understand our current path may not be an indicator of calamity. It appeared we were improving, treating each other with greater respect, allowing that we are all equal under the skin, yet in the last twenty or so years evil has taken a lead again, driving the course of human behavior away from civility. This is not the end of the struggle. We may turn things around, there will be ups and downs on the graph of humanity. Satan is often referred to as “the deceiver”, it leads you to believe you have lost and might as well give up.

A few weeks ago in Southwest Philadelphia, at Bartram High School, a school with a terrible history of violence, a conflict resolution specialist who had been assigned to the school to reduce violence was knocked unconscious by a student. Alphonso Stevenson is still receiving medical treatment for multiple skull fractures, and the young man who attacked him is still roaming the halls of Bartram High (despite having been expelled). The school did not close, the conflict resolution specialists did not throw their hands in the air and give up (although the last principal quit after two weeks).

The struggle does not end next week, or next year, or even next century. The struggle is eternal. Some days we win a little, some days we lose a little, and when our part on Earth is done we will be judged. Did we hunger and thirst for righteousness? Were we merciful? Were we pure of heart? Words will be meaningless, God sees all, it sees our actions, and it sees our hearts. We might fool everyone, including ourselves, but God will know the truth.

Knowing not when I will stand spirit to spirit before God, I do my best to be a peacemaker, because I know the warrior within is searching for a way to get out. There is a lot of bad to make up for, so I keep trying to tip the balance. The reward is not Earthbound, there is no sense in seeking applause for our efforts.

My choice of music today acknowledges the tight rope many of us walk.