Diets

Once upon a time there was a pyramid. Children who had eaten square meals from round plates all their lives were given nutritional guidance by a triangle.  It was a simple “one size fits all” diet, if we would just eat what the government told us to eat, we would be healthier.

Traditional Food Pyramid

 

Despite all this excellent information, and a Presidential physical fitness medal, Americans continued to have health issues. Perhaps the pyramid wasn’t easily understood. A more Politically Correct food pyramid was designed, so that no foods were above others. Now, instead of just missing a geometric connection to the diet experience, the more obvious proportions of the previous pyramid were lost. At least there is a rainbow, but designed by the USDA; even the colors of the spectrum are out of order.

 

Politically Correct Food Pyramid

 

 

This worked so well, Americans created a new food group, “Statins.” It is so much easier to take a pill than eat healthy foods. It never occurred to anyone that perhaps the food pyramid concept was ill advised. Despite all the talk about diversity, some folks kept believing that we are exactly the same under the skin, the same diet would produce the same effects in every person. The International Olive Council thought “wait, why are oils in the smallest category?. Olive oil should have its very own category, right at eye level on the shelf.” They figured out this had nothing to do with health, it was a marketing ploy. After conducting seminars on “The Mediterranean Diet,” in of all places, the Mediterranean, in the midst of American winters, nutritionists suddenly endorsed the benefits of more Olive oil. The Soybean Council started an all out smear campaign against Cocoanut and Palm oils, convincing the public those oils are next to poisonous. They are not. Health advisories should be evaluated with the knowledge of who profits from the impression they are trying to impart, and whether the people profiting are the same people imparting the impression.

 

 

The Mediterranean Diet Pyramid

 

Mayhem ensued, as every fringe group marketed their own diet in a pyramid format. There is actually a “Vegan Food Pyramid”, which you might initially expect to be a line rather than a triangle.  The pyramid was becoming a dunce cap.

 

Anti Aging Pyramid

 

The latest attempt at mass diet control scrapped the pyramid entirely. While not perfect quarters, it appears proteins and fruits are equals, as are vegetables and grains.

 

The circular pyramid

 

Three years into the “My Plate” campaign, one in three Americans is obese, and the related symptom of obesity, heart disease,  remains the leading cause of death. Leading cause of death. More than AIDS, guns, and terrorism combined. Maybe this “one size fits all” diet idea doesn’t work.

I have a very high metabolism. I maintained a weight of less than 140 pounds eating anything and everything I desired until a few years ago, when I stopped eating meat. I reduced fats, which caused carbohydrates to increase as a percentage of my diet. I put on twenty pounds and now old friends say I finally look healthy. My first wife quit smoking, and put on so much weight her doctor told her to start smoking again. We are all different, we all need different diets, and we all have a different level of comfort with our body image.

There is an answer that applies moderately to everyone. Moderation. Attributed to my phenotype Oscar Wilde is the quote “Everything in moderation, including moderation.” James Hilton liked the line and used it in Lost Horizons as the high Lama’s explanation for life in Shangri La. Good enough for me.

Let me put it another way. Do what works for you. Your life belongs to you, own it. Don’t worry about what people say about your body, carry the weight the distance you want to go. There is no reason to spend the limited time you have alive trying to live longer if the trying makes the life less comfortable. Enjoy this time, you will have no other life on Earth. I’m not suggesting recklessness, do not waste the gift of life, but do not waste that gift by living in a cage. If you can’t do what you want to do because of your weight, work on your priorities. Gently move your body from one state to another, extremes are one thing everyone agrees is bad for you.

If you want advice on diet, talk to a dietician, your doctor isn’t as well trained in nutrition. At my last physical (fifteen years ago) my doctor asked about my lifestyle. A diet heavy in fats, alcohol consumption above average, and smoking. He gave me a stern look and told me to make some changes, then took blood for tests. I saw him a week later when the results were in. He said “Well, I guess it works for you. your cholesterol is low, all your blood work is great.” This doesn’t mean I’m suggesting you follow my diet, just don’t follow a diet you find on the internet, even if it comes from the “Department of Health.”

 

 

 

Getting the band together

Did you know that a group of Gorillas is called a band? So this is a better title than “Gorillas revisited”.

Today let’s consider the eight hundred pound gorilla wearing yoga pants.

Not a pretty sight. Which is only one reason gorillas don’t wear yoga pants. Among other reasons is the fact that gorillas rarely practice yoga.

No gorillas in sight

Lululemon, a brand of clothing marketed to practitioners of yoga, makes clothing that fits the typical person who practices yoga. There have been some complaints about this from, of all people, folks who think a downward facing dog is something to run away from.

Apparently, the news has broken that small clothes do not look good on large people. Anyone who has walked through Center City Philadelphia on the first warm day of Spring could have told you the same thing, but as we all had guessed, some people do not routinely look in mirrors.

Before I go any further, let me make one thing as clear as a pair of Lululemon pants stretched over a size twenty two gluteus maximus. My personal tastes in female bodies tends towards fuller figures. I find nothing attractive about women who have been “starved to near perfection”.

Chip Wilson, the CEO of Lululemon, responded to complaints that his products were too sheer when stretched and “pilled” (the fabric surface forms small pellets). He suggested that if the pants don’t fit, don’t wear them. The pants were not meant to be stretched beyond their suggested size, and pilling occurs when the fabric rubs against itself, as it might if trapped between two large thighs.  Many fat people took this as “shaming fat women”.

The truth would be, if you’re not happy with how you look, you’re ashamed of yourself. I’m sorry no one ever saw whatever beauty resides within you, but perhaps there is none. Telling you your clothes don’t fit is not shaming you for being overweight, it’s shaming you for having poor fashion sense. If you think you’re going to make a stir by not buying clothes that don’t fit you, you could be right. People might notice how nice you appear when you’re not trying to look like someone you’re not. The folks at Lululemon will certainly appreciate it, if they wanted their clothes displayed stretched out of shape, they would use gorillas as mannequins.

Now Chip has apologized once again. Not to the people complaining, but to his employees, for having to put up with them. What a guy.

The next time you think you’re unattractive, look around you. Have your friends and family ostracized you? (Gosh I hope not, why are they your friends?). What are you unhappy about? If your lover and the people you care about think you’re beautiful, you are. There is no need to strive for someone else’s standard, and if you feel you must, just putting on the clothes of the person you want to look like will not make you look like them. Be happy with who you are, and more of the people you’re trying to please will be happy with you.