Phones on planes

We are approaching a very telling moment in society. Perhaps a tipping point in civilization. From this point, history will show that we either grew into a benevolent society that takes care of itself, or descended into the rabble of anarchy. From this point forward, we will know who rules, who determines our direction.

This is not a battle between the Socialists and the Capitalists, this is not a political decision of Left or Right. This decision will not be based on religious beliefs or wealth. It’s more serious than the living versus the zombies.

It is time for the decisive battle against the wankers.

The FAA has banned the use of electronic devices on aircraft in flight since 1991, because there is the off chance that they might disrupt controls. But it was so important to play with an ipad in flight that they recently backed down and will allow their use except during take off and landing, when controls are critically important. I mean, they never actually proved that any crashes were caused by use of electronic devices, and isn’t keeping up with Farmville more important?

Now the FAA is considering allowing the use of cell phones. Send in the wankers.

You may have noticed that many people forget they are no longer in the privacy of their homes when they speak on a cell phone. I’m annoyed enough at loud conversations about aunt Mabel’s hemorrhoids, but hearing some moron’s idea of pillow talk while I’m trapped in the elevator with him is too much. Worse is the fights. I had the opportunity, along with the rest of the inhabitants on a train home one evening, to hear about the infidelities of my fellow passenger’s girlfriend Charlene with his brother. Not only was Charlene and our fellow traveler’ sibling performing acts that are illegal in some states, but apparently they were engaging in said acts in his home, where fellow traveler was heading with the intent of performing some rather gruesome work with not only his bare hands but also every loose item he could get hold of.

If you’ve never seen an entire passenger train full of commuters vigorously inspecting their shoes, you might not understand how uncomfortable it is to have someone go completely non-linear in the same enclosed space you are trapped in. In the last few years, most lines have “quiet cars”, in which the use of cell phones is prohibited.

Unlike the rush to allow other electronic devices. the FAA and some airlines are in no rush to allow cell phone use. The director of the FAA is saying he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and the flight attendants union has come out strongly against in flight cell phone use. Most sane people are against it, one survey indicated the availability of cell phone use would have a negative impact on choosing an airline. Can you hear me now?

Remember when there were smoking sections on planes? Sitting one row away from a smoker really didn’t work any better than sitting a cabin away from a screaming baby. “No calling” sections aren’t going to work, although “Step out on the wing to make a call” sounds fine to me. Charging for access to an airborne cell will only weed out cheap wankers, there are no doubt plenty of people willing to pay a premium to be a jerk. Or might someone think I should pay extra for a “No cell phones” flight?

My guess is that airline executives will decide that phones on planes are as welcome as snakes. Unless they’re snakes themselves. In that case the wankers might win.

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One comment on “Phones on planes

  1. Cindy Mullins says:

    good call. cindy m

    Liked by 1 person

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