Bargain Vacations

I was involved with a psychiatric nurse at one time, she had the eyes of Betty Davis and the intellect of Betty Boop. She asked me to go to Antigua with her, because she found a deal on vacation packages. She didn’t bother to tell me she was planning the vacation to be our honeymoon (we had discussed marriage, I had said “maybe someday”). She also didn’t mention that the package was a bargain because it was hurricane season.

Hawksbill rock. If you've been there you know the vantage point.

Hawksbill Rock. If you recognize the view, you know what I’m wearing.

I had a great time, there was this drink called a “Banana Mama“, and the local beer “Wadadli“, not to mention some great food, plantains, curries and a fabulous goat vindaloo, which makes an interesting breakfast dish. I did notice the clouds gathering Sunday, and when I returned to the resort there was word of a Hurricane watch. I ordered another banana mama and watched the weather on TV. As it turned out, our hotel was the shelter for that side of the island, so we had a nice dinner and went to bed.


Georges at the door

Hurricane Georges (Hor-hey) took the island head on in the night. Estimates of intensity range from category three to category five. It’s hard to be accurate when the weather station has been swept into the sea. It was fascinating. Linda spent the remainder of the night in the bathtub, while I stepped onto the balcony while the eye passed over us. There wasn’t much on Antigua to start with, and even less the next morning.


After Georges in the dining room

There were a couple of fatalities, and the airport was destroyed. We were stuck on the island an extra three days with free booze and clean beaches. Real clean, the cabanas and bars were somewhere in the Atlantic. Linda was irritated with me. I think it’s because it finally sunk in that I wasn’t going to marry her, but she said it was because I wasn’t appropriately frightened by the hurricane. She dragged me down to a hurricane, and I was the one with inappropriate actions.

As of Friday, 16 August 2013, the “Day of Rage” according to the Pro-Morsi Muslim Brotherhood, tourists from the United Kingdom are still flying into Egypt for vacations. The UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office says it’s still safe, despite the fact that every other nation has issued travel advisories. Trafalgar is offering some great deals. Apparently, Colonel Kilgore now works for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. Linda is his secretary.

I genuinely cannot understand why anyone would take their family for a vacation in a war zone. Personally, I occasionally miss the clarity of armed conflict, but I wouldn’t bring my family along, and I’d rather pack a Styer AUG or FN SCAR than a beach towel. There are conspiracy theorists who believe that the Home Office is involved in depopulation, and it’s always possible that they just really want some evidence of Darwinism, but this is just, well, inappropriate.

When we were flying out of Antigua, there were a number of people complaining. The lines were too long, the flights were off schedule, there was no food in the airport. There hadn’t been an airport the day before. There were long lines because the workers were injured or rebuilding their homes. How difficult is it to be happy to have survived?

I’ll be checking Trip Adviser to see what kind of reviews people who vacation in a country in turmoil give their resorts.


5 comments on “Bargain Vacations

  1. Or one could book a trip to Central City, New Orleans, or maybe to south Chicago. Come to think of it East Cleveland might be a thrill. Detroit?


  2. Lieve Cash says:

    I don’t even want to go to the ‘safer’ areas, such as Turkey, Morocco, India, Malaysia, Indonesia… Egypt would have been nice, but there won’t be much left of it soon 😦


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